if a tree falls..

ok, we had this philosophical debate back in fourth year psychology.. 'if a tree falls in a forest and no body saw it, then did it fall?'.. and it still haunts me till this day.. logically it did, yet, no one's there to mourn for its demise.. or sigh out regrets.. or miss it.. to whisper 'yes u r a special tree to me'.. argh! so depressing..

when i was goin away for taiwan and we still had some flowers about to bloom in the house that are too fresh and pretty to throw away and it's not appropriate to re-gift to someone else.. it made me feel so sad i was close to tears knowing that soon the flowers will be in bloom and no one will be in my house to see it!! all that pretty wasted.. made me feel even worse when we came home to a vase of dead flowers that gave all it had and no one was there to smell it or gush at it's prettiness..

is that why we all search for 'the one', so we can be 'the two'? some one to bear witness to our existence? to feel like we mattered? that we are 'special' or have value to some one else? our actions or presence have consequence on at least one other human being? would our life still have meaning if we spent it alone? or are we solely defined in relative terms?

ironically as human beings, existential loneliness looms, we have to go thru all our experiences alone, though we can pay for surrogates to have our babies, no one can offer to feel the joy for us when the newborn wraps its tiny palm around our finger... nor can they take away the pain of losing someone you love.. we have to go it alone..

and yet, the dalai lama says he never feels lonely, even when he's alone, becoz interconnectedness binds us all together even when we are in not the same room.. so the flower were pretty, the tree did fall, we would live and mattered.. with or without a witness..

then, why the innate yearning to be heard, touched, understood, held, felt, loved, validated and to feel connected with another human being?