Taking a moment

life just seemed to throw a curve ball at u when u least expected.. i always use my firefly analogy... we are like lil fire flies flitting down the highway of life, lighting our way the best we can, then out of nowhere, *SPLAT*, flat on a windscreen...

windscreen in the form of a heart break..

traumatised.. my downward spiral of a life was taken to a grinding halt.. my world came undone along with any preconceived notion of permanence/stability/knowing.. no where to hide or run..

I guess when all is lost, what emerges from the ashes of the old self is a renewed assessment and analysis of patterns and behaviours, reconnecting with what lead me here, replaying each moment of regret, remembering the essence of me, desperate for consoling glimpses of hope and redemption.. like an insect under the microscope, pinned down, prodded, dissected, naked yet honest..

in the midst of the pain there was serenity.. new epiphanies.. new understanding.. new perspective and acceptance..

a heart broken may be mended, yet it bears the battle scars as a reminder of past lessons and a new beginning..

now.. though bruised and vulnerable.. bizarrely liberated… wisely optimistic..

and alas, happy.