festival of j..

yes, i've just turned 29 years 'young'..

and at risk of falling into the cliche category.. i am one of those woman who freaks out about growing old.. though the neurosis has toned down over the years.. i did catch fleeting moments of sheer anxiety in midst of the festivity..

i did wanted to lay low this year.. i've been lucky to be blessed with many surprise celebrations organised in my honour.. but this year.. with the absence of big mammal and the fact that i'm onto the last number that starts with 2-something.. i really am quite content with just some quality time with the special ppl in my life...

it started with a shopping trip on thrusday taking good advantage of the stocktake sales..

then, a 'special' party on friday with my workmates which i've signed a confidentiality agreement not to blog abt it or post any photographic evidence..

and on my b'day.. (i.e. today).. i shared a High Tea with my family..

I got some fantastic presents!! some yummy lip balm, a how to be goddess book (like i need help in that! ha! actually.. yep.. lots of help.. so this 'manual' should come in handy), a facial voucher, a stamp so i can exercise my professional knowledge at parties (see left.. yes it says 'insane'.. and i'm hoping that this simple categorisation will make the world a better place..)..

there were some rocky moments, and yes there were tears.. but the 'ah-ha' moment came with the fortune cookie on my high tea cake tier.. picture on the top of the blog.. soo.. in the end.. i've allowed myself to relax in the midst of the chaos..

i must at admit, i'm the most comfortable and content with who i am and what i've achieved in my life than i've ever been.. i know myself a lot better, i can see things clearer, i've accepted the greys in life, i'm grateful for all the ppl i've been blessed to share my life with.. and i'm embracing life and myself just as it is..

but most of all, i feel peace..

though i'm not exactly enlightened or buzzing with wisdom like the dalai lama.. but for the first time, i have a glimpse of the strength of my inner happy on my experience of the external world.. the oasis, the sanctuary.. that will keep me sane and calm as i navigate through this crazy world with all it's crazy ppl n crazy things.. and the capacity to love all of it.. (well... most of the time)..

and it feels.. quite nice..

so does my Egyptian cotton 1100 thread count sheets from my lil sis! *purrrrr*

serve with a sprig of coriander...

we were given some giant lemongrass stalks from a friend's garden.. but we had no idea how to use it in cooking.. so mum decided that i can boil it up and put it in my bath..

it was strangely relaxing.. loved the lemony smell.. and the essential oils were quite nice on the skin.. just delicious..

except.. there were several fleeting moments while i'm soaking in the serenity.. i can't help but feeling like a piece of chicken in a lemongrass broth.. and keeping a keen eye on the door in case the cannibals bursts into my bathroom to chuck me on the spit fire..

think i should speak to someone abt these paranoid delusions..

busy sunday!

been feeling restless after a 6 months of self imposed isolation n inactivity..

for some, coming out of their shell may mean partying till the wee hours of the morning, all-niter at a friend's, as for me.. it's BAKE.. PLANT.. n.. SHOP..

it started with the apple and cinammon bran muffin which was too healthy to be satisfying, then i moved onto the lemon cup cakes complete with lemon butter cream icing and silver balls..
then, come my first attempt at SCONES! don't let it's deceptively benign appearance fool you.. there's quite a science to it's construction.. as i found out from 'good eats' (a tv series that satisfies both the chef and geek in me).. check out these babies.. i'm a domestic GENIUS!
then what coming out party would be complete without the quintessential comfort food - the Spag Bolg.. so i made those too..

in midst of all these baking n cooking i still managed to find time to pay homage to my happy place - Ikea and bought a bunch of things i don't need, and food i shouldn't eat (btw, been totally addicted to digestive biscuits, until i read the nutritional info on the packet and realised i'd be better off chomping down pure butter. hoping this swedish version would be better for me hips)..
plus, i planted more lettuces as some mysterious evil being (most likely in the form of slug or bird) has eaten all of my previous batch of seedlings.. (grrr!) .. which reminds me i gotta plant some beer bombs to murder some snails n slugs (amitabha.. well.. at least it's humane and organic!)..

AND.. graced the half year sale with my presence (at my bargain shopping mecca - Harbour Town), emerged 3 hours later as the proud new owner of a pair of sexy-but-in-a-classy-sorta-way knee high brown boots and two knitted tops!

and what's better to wind down a busy weekend with some fresh out of oven warm scones smoothered in butter and jam.. mmmm..

Girl's night out!

Leaf Tea Merchants held a Ceylon Tea Tasting night complete with Sri Lankan Food!

so Lil' K, Missy, YT and i, thought we'd check it out.. it was one of the best night out i've had in awhile.. food was yummy and teas were brewed to perfection and we learned so much!

it was presented by part owner/tea merchant Hilary White who owns Elmstock teas.. he did look a bit like a merchant (complete with gold buttons and cuff links) but i have to give him two thumbs up for enthusiasm.. you just can't fake passion, he was showing us what the tea looked and smells like before it was brewed, compared the colours of the tea, telling us tea history, his family's tea history, Sri Lanka food history, what's the best way to brew and store tea, asking us to ask him questions.. it was just SOOOO great to see people who are sooo in love, so knowledgeable in ONE thing and doing it so well!!

in 2 hours i've learned from mr. white - ceylon is a region in sri lanka; it used grow coffee until it was burnt down; Sir Thomas Lipton was a real person; he bought the land cheap cheap and turned it into tea plantation n made a mint; all teas are leaves from the same plant; it's the way the tea is processed that gives different flavours e.g. green, earl grey, white, etc; teas are graded like wine e.g. single estate, tasting notes, and a lot more!

my company was awesome too! conversation just flowed.. we talked abt the civil war in sri lanka and fiji, fair trade, wto, tea habits from various countries, is Portuguese chicken well portuguese or african, why there's no Nando's in Portugal, marvel why the dalai lama makes u wanna hug him, swapped travel stories, wondered what's the difference between lady and earl grey, giggled abt random people who acts like u r homeys and think they know u just coz u are both from the same country, while chomping down asparagus finger sandwiches, sri lanka/dutch love cake, divine curry meatballs, and drinking copious amounts of tea (6 types from the same region)..

no mention.. not even a squeak of boys, babies, gossips, anything girly or superficial!!! *woah*

was just wonderful wonderful wonderful.. i love all these intelligent, educated, well traveled, insightful woman in my life! my heart like my tea cup was filled to the brim.. and just feels so gloriously content :)

if a tree falls..

ok, we had this philosophical debate back in fourth year psychology.. 'if a tree falls in a forest and no body saw it, then did it fall?'.. and it still haunts me till this day.. logically it did, yet, no one's there to mourn for its demise.. or sigh out regrets.. or miss it.. to whisper 'yes u r a special tree to me'.. argh! so depressing..

when i was goin away for taiwan and we still had some flowers about to bloom in the house that are too fresh and pretty to throw away and it's not appropriate to re-gift to someone else.. it made me feel so sad i was close to tears knowing that soon the flowers will be in bloom and no one will be in my house to see it!! all that pretty wasted.. made me feel even worse when we came home to a vase of dead flowers that gave all it had and no one was there to smell it or gush at it's prettiness..

is that why we all search for 'the one', so we can be 'the two'? some one to bear witness to our existence? to feel like we mattered? that we are 'special' or have value to some one else? our actions or presence have consequence on at least one other human being? would our life still have meaning if we spent it alone? or are we solely defined in relative terms?

ironically as human beings, existential loneliness looms, we have to go thru all our experiences alone, though we can pay for surrogates to have our babies, no one can offer to feel the joy for us when the newborn wraps its tiny palm around our finger... nor can they take away the pain of losing someone you love.. we have to go it alone..

and yet, the dalai lama says he never feels lonely, even when he's alone, becoz interconnectedness binds us all together even when we are in not the same room.. so the flower were pretty, the tree did fall, we would live and mattered.. with or without a witness..

then, why the innate yearning to be heard, touched, understood, held, felt, loved, validated and to feel connected with another human being?

buddhist groupie

we all have our 'idols'.. for some it's Brittany Spears, for others it's Tom Cruise, Princess Mary of Denmark or buddha forbid.. Johnny Howard.. but for me.. it's the Big Ocean of Wisdom..a.k.a the Dalai Lama... oh yes.. i'm a fan.. a big one..

the last time he was in australia was 2002 and he didn't even make it to our little country town of Perth.. but this time.. he got here.. and like an dutiful obessessed fan i was on that dial as soon as the box office opened.. and i dialed till my fingers were sore yet i persisted till i got in my hot little hands one of those tickets that were sold out in 7 hours.. and since then i've been counting the sleeps till the day arrived..

the last time i was this excited about a famous person coming to perth was.. hmmm.. NEVER.. not even mariah carey..

uncontrollable tears welled up in my eyes when i first saw him appearing as a little maroon dot on the stage (takes a lot of self restraint not to follow my compelling urge to prostrate respect).. i held my palm together to greet him as a dot in the masses..

though his message was simple and i've read about in his books.. but it was cool to hear it from him in person... and just like other ppl's description of him.. he emanates serenity and compassion.. he spoke like a gentle grandfather with kindness and wisdom, at the same time with such child-like innocence that sees only the good in everything and every one.. he was charismatic and had a funny sense of humour, he giggled a lot, he spoke every word with sincerity and conviction and at times so animated his voice bears an uncanny resemblance to yoda (tee hee hee)..

and of course i raided the merchandise stand.. though i was bitterly disappointed there was no dalai lama sock puppets available nor were there any t-shirts that says "I *heart* DALAI LAMA" or "i met the dalai lama and all i got was this lousy t-shirt".. i did manage to get myself a bag and a mug..

in hindsight, may be i'm not groupie enough and i should've stalked him around in the burswood hotel lobby or flown myself to melbourne to hear him talk about the eightfold path.. but anyways.. like a good buddhist i'm learning to just be content with the fact that i get to cross out 'meet the dalai lama' off my "things-to-do-before-i-die list" (even if all i could see was a tiny maroon dot)..

i shall go now and continue bask in the serene glow of the presence of his holiness..

baby love..

YT's baby Ali is the sweetest smartest cutest little bubba.. :) at the risk of sounding crazy coz i'm waxing lyricals about other people's child.. may be i'm just one proud non-blood relative aunty.. *insert huggie's commercial theme song.. 'it must be love love love..nothing more nothing less.. love is the best' ahhhhh*

she's transformed from a blob that does very little to a mini-human.. crawling, sitting, smiling, playing, grabbing, interacting.. and now at the tender age of 7months she's able to grip onto furniture and stand on her own!!! awww.. *beams with pride*.. and soon.. her first words would be 'i love u aunty j'..*MUWAHAHAHAHA.. drifts off in proud aunty fantasy land*
in hindsight.. may be i should've sought some parental permission before i posted these.. :P sorry YT!

a girl's night in..

every now and then, on a saturday night, when it's cold outside, and my party spirit is on strike, a girl just need a tall glass of steaming chai latte, a yummy pineapple bun, and a good chick fiction.. all wrapped up in warm blankey..
ahhhh..