to infinity and beyond..

big mammal has gone to taiwan, for work, for eternity (ok.. i'm being melodramatic, it's a year)..

he left on weds morning.. and i've already cried for a whole week before he left :(

despite all the rational reasoning (e.g. it's good experience for him; he'll learn mandarin; we can grow as individuals; he'll know more abt my background; we'll still be in contact; he'll visit; i'll visit after i hand in my thesis; a year's not a long time.. blah blah blah).. the plumbing is still broken, i'm still leaking, plus the unstoppable trickles of random thoughts of "what if's" and "i'll miss him".. *bawwwwww*..

whist i am trying to 'grow up' and conduct a somewhat mature and independent relationship.. nothing can change the feeling of a part of me has been ripped out.. or that pitless sensation in my tummy..

although i know there's a silver lining in here somewhere.. i know he'll be ok, i'll be ok.. but it still SUX.. bad..

forecast: occasional drizzles, overcast, showers and thunderstorms.. lots of moping, sulking and unmentionable quantities of chocolates..

last supper..

big mammal is leaving perth for a job in Taiwan (a.k.a republic of china, NOT people's republic of china).. for a whole year..

so we had our last romantic dinner on sunday.. went to (A) lure ... and tee hee hee i have to do a review..

service was .. errmmm.. how can i put this nicely.. SHIT HOUSE.. :P actually it was just the one guy that took our order.. he ignored us for a good half an hour, we had to fetch our own menus, and he didn't even explain the specials when we asked him to.. we asked if there's a vegetarian option for a dish, he outright said nope.. we asked if they have a bread, he said yes, it's corn bread, we asked if it was on the menu he said nope... followed by his blank look and awkward silence.. at this point big mammal was fuming and i was close to thumping this smart arse..

after we've ordered, he brought on a complimentary plate of olives, cold cucumber soup and some BREAD rolls.. which would've been nice for him to mention that earlier... *rolls eyes*

big mammal had the chicken and couscous, and i had a potatoe rosti with poached egg, spinach and tomatoes... we thought the chicken was a bit dry, but i loved my dish it was simple, fresh with yummy flavoursome ingredients..(despite the $28 price tag.. sigh).. it gave me goose bumps when i cut open the egg and the lusciously golden yolk gushes out.. definitely a lifestyle channel moment..

although, highlight (as always) is the dessert.. we had the chocolate fondant.. it was TO DIE FOR... once you've cut through the delicious spongey exterior.. the molten chocolate goo oozes from the centre.. was just mmmm..

plus i love all the cutlery and table ware :)
why does good food have to have a price tag to match :(

House Guest

my cousins have left their baby girl with us while they are away.. she's a 2.5 yr old Labrador princess name 'sushi'.. and i challenge anyone who can turn down these pleading puppy eyes..

we've never had pets (other than keeping a puppy for 2 weeks when we were 10), we weren't exactly sure if our house guest will survive her stay..

it feels like having a new baby, it's been a while since baby speak was heard in the household.. "has sushi been a good girl today, does she wanna go walkie walkie?".. it's funny to watch myself and others going gar gar over.. well.. a rather large dog that knocked dad over when she charged at him..

sushi has her toy - mr ladybug, that she is best buds with, except mr. ladybug went missing the second day he got here, after a whole day of scavenging thru our back yard, dad finally found mr.ladybug buried next to the fence. same process repeated itself for the next 2 days before the surrogate mummy n daddy decided that mr. ladybug should make friends with mr. cardboardbox for a day till sushi learns not to bury her toys..

she does know how to lay on the guilt trip.. she's got the look mastered to a T.. :)

and if all else fails, miss sulky.. if anyone sees this they'll be tempted to call the RSPCA!

Taking a moment

life just seemed to throw a curve ball at u when u least expected.. i always use my firefly analogy... we are like lil fire flies flitting down the highway of life, lighting our way the best we can, then out of nowhere, *SPLAT*, flat on a windscreen...

windscreen in the form of a heart break..

traumatised.. my downward spiral of a life was taken to a grinding halt.. my world came undone along with any preconceived notion of permanence/stability/knowing.. no where to hide or run..

I guess when all is lost, what emerges from the ashes of the old self is a renewed assessment and analysis of patterns and behaviours, reconnecting with what lead me here, replaying each moment of regret, remembering the essence of me, desperate for consoling glimpses of hope and redemption.. like an insect under the microscope, pinned down, prodded, dissected, naked yet honest..

in the midst of the pain there was serenity.. new epiphanies.. new understanding.. new perspective and acceptance..

a heart broken may be mended, yet it bears the battle scars as a reminder of past lessons and a new beginning..

now.. though bruised and vulnerable.. bizarrely liberated… wisely optimistic..

and alas, happy.