big girl in a small city

a big girl's neurotic oddessy through life in a city with country town soul.

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Location: Perth, WA, Australia

I'm a sporadic organisational psychology phd student, full time day dreamer of alternative careers: cafe/bookshop/day spa lifestyle village empire entrepreneur; artist; travel writer; domestic goddess; property developer; fashion designer; retiree; organic farm/bed n breakkie; wife to billionaire heir; buddhist nun. when i'm not entertaining the above in my head, i'm busy navigating through life battling with myself to find eternal happiness armed with a skinny hazelnut flatwhite in my hand, twinkle of passion in my eyes, love in my heart and a barrage of great friends n family by my side.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Return of Indiana Jones

although i promised CM that i wouldn't blog about him.. i can't help it.. i'm complusive! besides since he wasn't very cooperative when i tried to take a photo while he wolfs down his main.. i think i can revoke my promise (this is the best 'action shot' i can get.. CM wouldn't stop to smile for the photo AND he has sneakily deleted the brilliant shot of his mouth wide open.. -_- .. i under estimated the clever monkey.. some how he had worked out how to operate my chinese speaking camera.. well..enough to delete photos.. damn!)

CM is back in perth over x'mas after another year of working abroad.. we caught up at
Tsunami, normally i'm anti-fusion or anything that isn't authentic when it comes to chinese or japanese food.. i hate all the jazzed up decor and half hearted food.. so my pet peeves list include - han's cafe and Wagamama.. i will not provide a link to them coz me sooooo not impressed.. yet they are doing well with all the white folks wanting some watered down version of 'oriental experience'.. GRRRRR.. but i digress..

in sum, Tsunami wasn't too bad for a 'posh jap food for white ppl' sorta place.. :P

as for the title of the blog.. i have a strange association of CM with Indiana Jones.. not that he looks like Harrison Ford (tho blond and rugged..), but he does have that same 'i'm a cool but cheeky nerd' charisma.. :P he does travel the world, a total adventure junkie, loaded with energy.. and every time we meet up he always has lots of jaw droppin stories to tell.. plus, he's always managed to gallop (used to be a holden that he calls toyota.. yep.. WTF??.. and now in his hired Audi TT) to my rescue when i'm going thru some sort of 'meltdown'.. and hear me sob thru: how no one understands the pain of writing a phd; the injustices i receive from insensitive bf/supervisor/parents/friends/sister; straight men wearing white pants n g-string; colour coordination wardrobe crisis.. then heads straight into 'solution mode', outlines a 12-step action plan.. and diplomatically tells me to 'get over it'.. yup.. this is a 'tough love' sorta guy :P


perhaps despite (inspite?) all this, he has an iron clad work ethic, will of steel, incredibly principled, devilishly intelligent (only if he could use his powers for good..), charismatically charming, spitefully confident, shares my rare n dorky sense of humour, and extremely good value.. :P one of the few ppl i would voluntarily hangout with, look forward to our annual catch up session as if no time has passed, and publicly acknowledge our friendship.. :) me will be very sad when he leaves in a week.. *sob*


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

the c word

At first I thought I should keep this blog light and airy.. but I’ve decided to keepin it real..

This time last year, my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer.. so far she’s had 19 cycles of chemo (every fortnight), selective internal sphere radiation, bowel surgery, and now awaiting for her liver surgery..

Today, is her chemo day, and it’s the one day I get to spend with her alone.. not under the most ideal circumstance (ironically, being phd-less is a blessing in disguise).. but it feels indulgent to have alone time with my mummy.. sitting nervously in the doctors room, holding her hand when they put the needle in, making her tea at the oncology clinic, and stealing drinks from the fridge.. we have our rituals, little winks of knowing, updates on family gossip, chatting about life, complaining about hospital food and speculating about other patients and nurses..

Although the future is still filled with uncertainty, but as we grow everyday in this journey we learn to appreciate things that we normally walk pass without a second thought.. every pink sunset, discount at the chinese grocery, kindness of strangers, sitting down for a picinic concert, late night shopping on a lazy summer day, unsolicited hugs, have mum reaching out for my hand while crossing the road..

Sure there’s still the occasional brawl, and boy, mum definitely knows which buttons to push.. but when I take her hand into mine, I’m reminded of the inseparable bond, blissful warmth that floods me, and how petrified I am by the thought of living my life without her..

Monday, December 18, 2006

More X'mas spirit

Ali from the office made these x'mas bundles of pure JOY.. mmmm!! i've only had one.. hoping there'll be seconds, but i bet they'll be all gone when i get in the office next!!! GRRRRRR ..


is this turning in a food blog? have i bloged too much?


Domestic Goddess meets Korean BBQ

since mum and dad complained about my unhealthy baking.. how i'm making them fat and giving them heart disease (sigh, really, how could something taste so good be bad?? sighh).. so i thought i'll use my domestic goddess powers for good and made this organic Ancient grains and seeds loaf.. and not only it was healthy, it tasted DEVINE. once again, my camera was too late.. mum has already taken a massive chunk out of it while it's still steaming coming out the oven.. i guess she liked it.. *smug*


that night big mammal and i caught up with YT, YT's Hubby, n buba over the all-you-can-eat korean BBQ. .. it was the first meal out i shared with the new family.. food was great, company was lovely, and with the addition of the sweet little cute as a button Ally, it all felt very grown up!

i guess it's watching a close friend embarking on motherhood, it just drove home that.. well.. what a life altering experience it is to welcoming a new life into the world and the sense of achievement for being totally responsible for another human being.. it's scary but nice .. :P t

here's something so magical about a newborn that is so captivating.. the milky baby smell, softest brand spanking new skin, feathery hair, perfect tiny fingers (complete with finger nails) and perfect little toes.. everything's anatomically correct n TINY!.. so there sat the four grown ups, talking, eating, drinking, while eyes never leaving the buba and giggling, marvelling at every little burp, flinch, fart, saliva bubble, frown, smile, fist waving that this tiny person makes..


the food was fabulous too.. but unfortunately, i ate myself silly and stayed up all night feeling like my stomach was going to explode.. was not nice.. *BAWWW*

X'mas Spirit

ohhh.. first Friday late night shopping in the city for YONKS!! All of a sudden I just feel like I’m infused with happy x’mas energy…

there’s something about the festival that makes the mundane everyday stuff seemed bearable.. as if it totally refocuses one’s attention to what is really important in life.. family, friends, special ppl, spirit of giving, gratitude and love.

So I went a little snappy happy wif the cameras.. all the decorations are so beautiful, each a work of art itself! oh of course there's my model..

The London court is one of my favourite places in perth city.. I always feel like I’ve been transported back in time and over to Europe.. I miss being in Europe around x’mas.. although it’s not so much fun when everything’s shut.. but there’s always the pre-x’mas markets with home made apple strudel with piping hot custard served by a lovely german lady, the heart warming moult wine, farm made bread, swiss hot chocolate spiked with rum, massive bratwurst in a pan big enough for me to curl up in.. x’mas decorations, I miss strolling around the stalls in the light falling snow.. listening to carollers in costume n pig tails singing familiar tune in a different language.. everyone on the street nods and smile at strangers, wishing happy x’mas blessing to all sentient beings.. ahh.. the nostalgia

So the london court is close as I get to that and the delicious coffee smell from infusion is good enough for me.. this place is soooo cool, you get to choose what beans and they would grind it on the spot and turn it into pure JOY in a cup.. mmmm




Friday, December 15, 2006

A merry psychology x'mas


our school had a x'mas lunch out at Sitella Winery yesterday. it was a beautiful setting.. i tried to prentend it was tuscany but megan pointed out that the jumper jacks gave it away.. (i'd say it's abt cropping and photoshop)..

was interesting watching 30-40 professors, lecturers, and phd students getting on a musty bus like teenagers and play silly quizzes on the way to get boozed up ..

we had 6 wine tastings.. i've limited myself to one sip for each wine.. and i still got drunk before we sat down to lunch.. (sigh.. damn my inadequate alcohol break-down enzymes).. the one with the dorky grin on the right is my supervisor.. and me bright red with ali on the left trying not to fall over..

so i ended up spending most of the meal being boring and blanking out as i struggle to recover from my alcohol haze.. wishing i could just crawl under the table for nap.. luckily my colleagues were all very entertaining and i still had a great time... me (still lobster red faced) with megan (missy) n karina (lil' k)..

check out Ali-T dawg, the latest addition to our office, she's cute as.. loaded with quirky one-liners.. e.g. "i'll be all over it like a fat kid on a cupcake", "peace out detroit" and "joy"... and with more happy energy than a duracell bunny armed with incredible ability to neutralised an otherwise disgruntled and grumpy office..
then the highlight of the meal.. banana banoffee.. mmmm..

after a massive three course meal, countless glasses of wine, champers, coke.. well fed, drunk, and full of x'mas spirit we were loaded back on the bus.. and did the songs of late 80's n 90's karaoke all the way home.. (actually it was just the four of us in the back of the bus.. but we thought it'll eventually spread like wild fire, but apparantly our musical talents weren't as entertaining as 'guess the song n artist' music quiz.. ) PFFTTTTT..

i had a killer hangover by 6pm.. i was useless and lying on me bed vowing to stick to my lemon lime bitters next time no matter how shameful it is...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

O' x'mas tree.. oh.. a taiwanese x'mas tree?

when I came home last night.. my mummy bounced over with a twinkle in her eye.. (an UH-OH alarm went off in my head as the twinkle is often associated with her being naughty in buying useless crap or guilt of her breaking something of mine or decided to chuck out my favourite outfit/book/kitchen stuff/electrical appliance).. then she told me she has bought some sparkly stringy stuff.. “’tinsels’ yeah?? See I know the English word for them” she proclaimed in chinese except for the tinsel bit..*sigh*

she then took me into our lounge and showed me a bag of x’mas tinsels.. “to put up around the house.. for x’mas!”.. at this point.. my jaw hit the floor..

first. We are Buddhists.. and last time I checked.. x’mas ain’t on the calendar..
second. Mum is the most anti-festivity person E-V-E-R! She don’t like celebrating anything.. not birthdays, anniversaries or even chinese new year! Yep.. we always had to beg her if we could do something that resembles some sort of celebrating.. so, after her half a century of anti-holidays, all of sudden she has decided to join the rest of civilised world in celebrating a holiday that she doesn’t believe in..

but since I’m a celebrate-anything-on-any-calendar-any-chance-i-get-opportunist, I embraced her ideas of decorating the house.. plus she's so cute when she's excited abt something.... :)

so.. here's our version of a x’mas tree.. a plastic plant in our front entry.. which took a good 20 mins and two tinsel rearrangements.. (btw, the yellow/black thing in the tree is a toy monkey with banana that dad thought was appropriate since monkeys like trees)


yep.. it’s our tv.. it’s practically family..


left over tinsel that we dunno what to do with it..




yup.. shameful really.. but I’m so happy that at least this year we've got some sort of festivity going on that we won't be longingly looking into our neighbours’ windows at their trees.. I don’t really care how tacky it looked...

except this morning, the tree tinsel were rearranged to mum's satisfaction (apparently i don't have the artistic eye), and i was informed the TV tinsel will be relocated to somewhere else more appropriate.. *SIGH*

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

being positive

Ok.. in retrospect.. I had an ok weekend..

went to the
outdoor cinema (perth international arts festival) to watch Infamous.. was a great cast, and interesting story abt Truman Capote.. i really enjoyed it! (considering i'm normally a chick-flick/PG13 type of gal).. now i'm looking forward to renting out Hoffman's version 'Capote' and can't WAIT to read 'in cold blood' (gives me goose bumps) .. it was the most beautiful setting.. surrounded by pine trees.. i really miss spending time doing things that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.. so freezing my butt off was well worth it..

downside was when i was attacked by big mammal at the cinema becoz .. apparently taking 18 shots to get a perfect photo of us is JUST TOO MUCH for him to 'bear'... pffttt!

made a delicious apple bread/cake thing..(Nigella calls it apple kuchen).. forgot to take a pic before my family attacked it..

went to a lovely free concert of movie themes.. star wars, lord of the rings, titanic, superman, indiana jones.. and a couple of obligatory carols which we all happily belted out in most non-matching tones we could manage.. subsituting 'la la la' in place of forgotten lyrics..

and caught the loveliest sunset.. ahhh..


guess life ain't too bad after all.. guess my previous entry was just a tad melodramatic.. *sheepish grin*



o' woe is me..

I’ve been one cranky little vegemite for the past week.. stuff was happening.. I was not inspired and not impressed..

Thought I’d try to turn over a new leaf this week.. but so far .. it’s just not happening for me… for example, this morning when I arrived at uni.. I sat in the car after I parked listening to the new EMINEM song "smack that".. yep.. oh yes.. that's how low i sank and how little i wanted to do work..

So as I’m looking out the window from my prison (aka uni).. it takes every restraint in my body not to burst into tears..

think somebody better call a 'whinembulance' (pronounce WAM-BU-LAN-S)..

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

happy place #2

much like julie andrews in sound of music with her 'favourite things'.. i've got my happy places (i'll share my other happy places as they come up..)

ribbons r nice, so is brown paper wrappings.. but tis nothing compare to $1 hot dogs and swedish mass produced
designer furniture made in china.. IKEA.. the land of plenty for the champagne taste and beer budget..

i'm so in love with the food section.. it has opened up a whole new dimension for me.. elderberry cordial, fish in jars, assemble yourself ginger bread houses, shortbread with chocolate centers, make your own (just add water) rye bread in a milk carton, all sorts of frozen cakes that sara lee don't make, swedish meatballs, oh.. tis land of plenty indeed!!! it took every restraint i have in my body to only get away with these..


yup.. these DAIMs taste pretty damn good.. :P how did i get thru the last 28 yrs of existence without these?!?!

ps. they are chocolate coated crunchy butterscotch almond toffees.. MMmmmMmM..

O' sweet fruit of my labour


At last!!! One is ripe for the picking.. it’s so pretty and so perfect..
Damn tis hard work growing tomatoes..

Considering.. so far..
3 X tomato plants = $10
Premium Potting mix = $12
2 X pots = $30
Wheels for the pots = $15
Decorative stone mulch = $3

Seeing one’s own love and labour coming to fruition = Joy
Realisation that one should leave the tomato planting to the experts = PRICELESS..

Considering I’ve only yielded a single fruit.. So it’s currently standing at $70 per tomato.. may be the 3 bucks I pay for a tub of cherry tomatoes can be justified.. may be woollies isn't trying to rip me off.. may be i should speak to a therapist abt this paranoia...

Sigh…

Monday, December 04, 2006

It's a VAIO!


over the weekend.. i welcomed the new love of my life.. my sweet-as sony vaio..

it was love at first sight, the sound is FABULUOUS, plus it's so pweetttyyy!!! i haven't learn how to do cool stuff with it.. but it had me at 'hello'..

a Core 2 Duo, it's sheer 1.8Ghz of joy-as zoom zoom power with 1Gb ram... oh, have i mentioned it's so pwetty? *hugz vaio baby* (yes i do hug my electronic devices..don't u? just don't tell my tv coz it might get jealous)..